Dating with chronic illness
Health advocate and blogger Leslie Rott has a three-date rule: “I think it gets harder to tell the longer you wait, and, in reality, you don’t want to be with someone who can’t accept or handle your illness.” Author, TV personality, and children’s advocate Christine Schwab recommends holding off, saying it is a discussion for a serious relationship: “I am not saying ignore your RA; talk to your doctor or your therapist, but not your date.
It can kill the best of dates.” Chris Lowthian also prefers not to disclose before a date: “I just want to go out and have a good time! When it comes to revealing the fact that they have RA, a number of Creaky Joints members say they turn to social media.
Community member Andrea Mamun says: “Meeting online takes the inhibition out of the mix.
It’s easier putting it out in writing than in person.” Nancy Hunt-Mc Donald agrees that sharing online is a great option and suggests telling a potential date right away: “If they can’t accept you the way you are, then you haven’t really invested too much of yourself in the relationship.” Mary Ellen Rotolo puts her health status in her online profile, noting that RA is not something she could hide in person.
If the thought of laying your diagnosis out there on the table, on top of all the other small talk that comes with a first date, don’t feel pressured, says Jacqueline Raposo, 35, who lives with Lyme disease, Epstein Barre, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Celiac’s Disease and runs a dating podcast called Love Bytes.
“It depends on the person, and how I’m feeling on that given day,” she says.
No one likes being rejected when they’re dating, but when you have a chronic illness you might take that rejection extremely hard.
Their opinions about our future together were diverse, and so were their attitudes towards my daily health struggles.
Before going further, I’d like to state that the purpose of this article isn’t to bash anyone at all.
He did not like the open-ended, variable timetable of my illnesses.
Neither did he want to start with a ‘deficit’ before even trying for a child.