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As a psychiatrist, I've seen how intense sexual attraction is notorious for obliterating common sense and intuition in the most sensible people. Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate.

Most people who live together before they get married don’t get married and those who do have a higher divorce rate. You’ve already agreed that this is not the biblical pattern and thus is not a healthy pattern. What you’re demonstrating, by the fact that you say, “I want to do this but we always fall back into the same pattern again” is the strong bonding nature of sexual relationships. Sex was designed to be a deep bonding experience between a husband and wife.SIGNS OF LUST Another challenge of sexual attraction is learning to stay centered and listen to your gut in the early stages of being with someone.This isn't easy in the midst of hormones surging, but it's essential to make healthy relationship decisions.I only knew I had to try, that I couldn't give up on this little girl dream of sharing my life with someone who would let me be whole -- without giving up a part of myself to squeeze into a relationship that didn't quite fit. For years, she went through the motions in her marriage, feeling like a vital piece of herself had been doped up with halothane. In that moment, she knew -- she had to walk away from her marriage, even if it would hurt the kids, even if her husband would feel rejected, even if she would suffer financially.Lately, my path keeps crossing with people who are unhappy in their marriages or miserable in relationships with loved ones, and I can't help thinking that life is too short to live in pain, just because we said, "I do." Don't get me wrong. She then went through a phase of being more proactive -- reading self-help books, going to see marriage counselors with her husband, signing up for workshops. Some small, long-silenced voice from within was screaming so loud that she knew she had to take a leap of faith -- by trusting that after she walked through the fire her divorce would require, she would arise a phoenix.

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